On an article page, you can save the article to your Favorites, print it out, send it to a friend or leave a comment.
Photo courtesy ofdiscovery.com, Michael Pilla The Gosselin family
Jon & Kate Plus ... Grandparents?
As reality couple Jon and Kate Gosselin confirm they're separating, America asks: Where are the grandparents?
On the June 22 episode of their hit TLC reality show, Jon & Kate Plus 8 , Jon and Kate Gosselin confirmed what their fans had feared: They're splitting up, and the popular show is going on hiatus until August 3. "I'm not very fond of the idea, personally, but I know it's necessary," Kate, 34, said at the end of the episode. "My goal is peace for the kids." She added, "I don't hate [Jon]. Never have, never will. He's the father for my children."
Jon said at the end of the episode, "It's life, it's a roller coaster, it's the way it happens. Sometimes you just go off the tracks," but added, "I'm excited as well because I have a new chapter in my life." For now, the children will stay in the family home while the parents come and go.
The announcement followed weeks of rumors of extramarital affairs that landed the Pennsylvania couple on the covers of several national tabloid magazines. But the Gosselins had also been widely criticized for their parenting style and what some critics call the exploitation of their 8-year-old twins, Cara and Madelyn, and their 5-year-old sextuplets, Alexis, Hannah, Aaden, Collin, Leah, and Joel.
In times of family turmoil, family experts say, grandparents can play a key role in managing the chaos and helping children stay positive. Which raises the question —where are the Gosselin grandparents?We did some digging and here’s what we learned.
Not Kate’s parents, it seems. In an interview with Utah television station KUTV earlier this year, Jon, 32, said that Charlene and Kenton Kreider, who also reside in Pennsylvania, "are just not involved. They have 19 grandchildren and they aren't involved with any of them.” In a separate interview, he claimed the Kreiders wanted to be "drop-in grandparents," but that neither he nor Kate wanted a relationship like that. Tabloid speculation has hinted at a bitter estrangement from Kate's parents amid differences of opinion over how the children should be raised, allegations the Gosselins have neither confirmed nor denied.
What would you do if you were the Gosselin kids' grandparent?
Insist that the parents let me come and help the children
Demand that they pull the plug on the show immediately
Stay away; the couple have gone Hollywood and there's no helping them
Jon’s father passed away several years ago. "He was the most involved parent ever," Jon told KUTV. "Mady and Cara miss him so much, it's ridiculous. And so do I. He was cool." Jon’s mother, Pamela, who has remarried, prefers to stay off-camera. "She moved far away and wants her privacy," Jon told KUTV. "She sees how our life is. We've benefited from the show but I have no private life. She doesn't want any part of that. She just wants to start over with her new husband." But Gosselin insists that his mother is still very much involved with the family. "I call her four to five times a day. My mom texts now, too." When asked about the apparent lack of grandparent involvement in his children's lives, Jon said, "The cool thing is, we have so many people that love our kids that they're their grandparents — people who have been with us forever."
Are the Kids Missing Out?
Aside from the valuable skills and life lessons thatgrandmothersandgrandfatherscan teach kids, justhaving grandparents in the picturewhen parents split up can help children weather the storm, says Susan Stiffelman, Grandparents.com'sAsk the Therapistcolumnist. “Divorce is a loss,” Stiffelman says. “As such, children need to travel through the five stages of grief: Denial ("I'm sure Mommy and Daddy will get back together"); Anger ("I hate Mommy" or "I hate Daddy"); Bargaining ("If I behave, maybe they'll get back together"); Depression ("It's all my fault that we'll never be happy again"); and Acceptance ("I guess it'll be okay if I can still be with Mommy and Daddy, even though we don't live together").
Grandparents, Stiffelman adds, should be "a steady, safe presence" to whom kids can vent frustration and express confusion and sadness as they navigate each stage. How will the Gosselin children handle the news? Will their grandparents be there to help? For better or for worse, stay tuned.
Want to continue this discussion?Start a Group.
See articles by age: Expecting|Baby|Toddler|Preschooler|Elementary|Tween|Teen+
Here are five of the best tools to help build your grandchild's literacy skillsLearn the educational tricks »
Try these recipes for fried chicken, corn dogs, and irresistible molasses cookiesGet the recipes »
The kids will flip over this DIY funCreate your own Grandma Camp! »
People Are Talking In Groups! Grandparenting From Afar (995 members)
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder...This group is for grandparents whose grandchildren live far away. Join us to dis...
Source:
